Understanding Normal

What is the definition of someone who is normal? To each person its different. How do you define it? We all go thru life either striveing to be normal or striving to defy normal. When comes the point that we just stop and say there is no true normal and move on with our lives. Everyone has there issues that they fear the world to notice because people dont understand fully and we cant accept that. We are branded normal, odd, strange, pathetic, amazing, trouble... by these little quirks that we hide. All of us go thru life wishing someone would understand how we think, how we feel, why we do the things we do and we dont ever want to accept the fact that no one will every truely get it unless they have walked the very same steps with all the same events. No one will have the same parents who say the same thing and react the same way. No one will have the same friends that act or dont act as a support system. Maybe we are the suport system for our friends. Some people live life happy and stronger because of that one person who soaks it all in for them and gives them the smile and encouragement that they need. Is that normal? To pass on your worries and fears to one other person so you can wake up happy and problem free? Or is it normal to be the one person holding up the suport system and stays up all hours of the night searching for ways to reach out to others. Is it normal to fine comfort in harming yourself, or is it normal to find comfort in forgetting the things that trouble you? Some of use live our personal lives in shadows but are always in the spotlight because of the strength we give to others. Is it normal for everyone to know you, but still feel very much alone? How do we sit and brand eachother Normal, Odd, Healthy, Fucked Up? If we all sat down and wrote our truest problem with our lives on a paper and just left it somewhere for someone to find, and even if we never spoke to this person would it help us live our lives knowing someone out there knows our issue so we dont live in fear of everyone seeing it? Or will we be pushed into a deeper fear that someone knows and then we yet again hide and change so the fear will always go unnoticed. Normal and Understanding, are words everyone seems to need in thier lives. But when does everyone come to the understanding that being normal is just a state of mind, and not something that really can be accomplished?

Winter, The Death Of Life

Snow its clean and pureness covers the life of the world wipeing it clean every year. Covering the messes of the world with a glittering white stillness. Normaly I would find peace in this crystal world, a soft comfort in the change of seasons and hope for when it melts it will take with it our mess from the year before, and we all will have a chance to keep it clean. Now as the snowfalls the iceyness also covers my heart. Two days ago I lost my car in an accident, and altho I didnt lose myself apart of me was taken with the loss of the car. My car saved me in times of need for escape, it was there for me to help others. And god knows how many people drove that car. Many memories were made in the car that I worked on myself and paid for myself. Now two days after, I get to say goodbye to my dog. She was 13, she was mine from a puppy. And soon I will say goodbye to my Grandmother. Winter, what once brought peace to my mind and calmness to my heart, now I get to see its bittersweet pain. Does this make me hate the snowfall, and dread the season change for next year? No, I still look forward to the silent comfort of snowfall, and the peace it can bring. In the winter of the seasons, I find the winter of many lifes. I hope with each snowflake that falls I can remember something good about those that I will lose and have lost, and with each snowflake that falls it will slowly calm my mind and ease the pain.

I do want to write about Molly but at the moment I find it hard to find the words to discribe how I feel. For those of you who read this I do wish you a Happy Holidays, and I hope that you find some peace in the snowfall.

Personality Profiles

Well I am one of those people that is interested in personality profiles of people not because I like to make everyone fit into a special group and lable them, but because some people dont relize how to show others who they are, or how they act; its interesting to read on what thier personality profiles are and if they truely match themselves. Like mine I took this profile test:

http://similarminds.com/pref_jung.html

its a really simple test and I got the results that I am

Actualized type: ESFP
(who you are)

ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 8.5% of the total population.

Preferred type: ENFP
(who you prefer to be)

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.

Attraction type: ENTP
(who you are attracted to)

ENTP - "Inventor". Enthusiastic interest in everything and always sensitive to possibilities. Non-conformist and innovative. 3.2% of the total population.

Well I looked into ESFP and read about my personality based on that and I agree with parts of it. But everyone is different so these things will never fit perfectly. I just wanted to post the page and the highlights of what does match me and see what other people think, also it might help some poeple understand me better. I dunno.


The Performer

As an ESFP, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion. Your secondary mode is internal, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

ESFPs live in the world of people possibilties. They love people and new experiences. They are lively and fun, and enjoy being the center of attention. They live in the here-and-now, and relish excitement and drama in their lives.

ESFPs have very strong inter-personal skills, and may find themselves in the role of the peacemaker frequently. Since they make decisions by using their personal values, they are usually very sympathetic and concerned for other people's well-being. They're usually quite generous and warm. They are very observant about other people, and seem to sense what is wrong with someone before others might, responding warmly with a solution to a practical need. They might not be the best advice-givers in the world, because they dislike theory and future-planning, but they are great for giving practical care.

ESFP is definitely a spontaneous, optimistic individual. They love to have fun. If the ESFP has not developed their Thinking side by giving consideration to rational thought processing, they tend to become over-indulgent, and place more importance on immediate sensation and gratification than on their duties and obligations. They may also avoid looking at long-term consequences of their actions.

For the ESFP, the entire world is a stage. They love to be the center of attention and perform for people. They're constantly putting on a show for others to entertain them and make them happy. They enjoy stimulating other people's senses, and are extremely good at it. They would love nothing more than for life to be a continual party, in which they play the role of the fun-loving host.

ESFPs love people, and everybody loves an ESFP. One of their greatest gifts is their general acceptance of everyone. They are upbeat and enthusiastic, and genuinely like almost everybody. An ESFP is unfailingly warm and generous with their friends, and they generally treat everyone as a friend. However, once crosesed, an ESFP is likely to make a very strong and stubborn judgment against the person who crossed them. They are capable of deep dislike in such a situation.

The ESFP under a great deal of stress gets overwhelmed with negatives thoughts and possibilities. As an optimistic individual who lives in the world of possibilities, negative possibilities do not sit well with them. In an effort to combat these thoughts, they're likely to come up with simple, global statements to explain away the problem. These simplistic explanations may or may not truly get to the nature of the issue, but they serve the ESFP well by allowing them to get over it.

ESFPs are likely to be very practical, although they hate structure and routine. They like to "go with the flow", trusting in their ability to improvise in any situation presented to them. They learn best with "hands-on" experience, rather than by studying a book. They're uncomfortable with theory. If an ESFP hasn't developed their intuitive side, they may tend to avoid situations which involve a lot of theoretical thinking, or which are complex and ambiguous. For this reason, an ESFP may have difficulty in school. On the other hand, the ESFP does extremely well in situations where they're allowed to learn by interacting with others, or in which they "learn by doing".

ESFPs have a very well-developed appreciation for aesthetic beauty, and an excellent sense of space and function. If they have the means, they're likely to have to have many beautiful possessions, and an artfully furnished home. In general, they take great pleasure in objects of aesthetic beauty. They're likely to have a strong appreciation for the finer things in life, such as good food and good wine.

The ESFP is a great team player. He or she is not likely to create any problems or fuss, and is likely to create the most fun environment possible for getting the task done. ESFPs will do best in careers in which they are able to use their excellent people skills, along with their abilities to meld ideas into structured formats. Since they are fast-paced individuals who like new experiences, they should choose careers which offer or require a lot of diversity, as well as people skills.

ESFPs usually like to feel strongly bonded with other people, and have a connection with animals and small children that is not found in most other types. They're likely to have a strong appreciation for the beauties of nature as well.

The ESFP has a tremendous love for life, and knows how to have fun. They like to bring others along on their fun-rides, and are typically a lot of fun to be with. They're flexible, adaptable, genuinely interested in people, and usually kind-hearted. They have a special ability to get a lot of fun out of life, but they need to watch out for the pitfalls associated with living entirely in the moment.

Whether you're a young adult trying to find your place in the world, or a not-so-young adult trying to find out if you're moving along the right path, it's important to understand yourself and the personality traits which will impact your likeliness to succeed or fail at various careers. It's equally important to understand what is really important to you. When armed with an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and an awareness of what you truly value, you are in an excellent position to pick a career which you will find rewarding.

ESFPs generally have the following traits:

* Live in the present moment
* Are stimulated and excited by new experiences
* Practical and realistic
* Warmly interested in people
* Know how to have a good time, and how to make things fun for others
* Independent and resourceful
* Spontaneous - seldom plan ahead
* Hate structure and routine
* Dislike theory and long written explanations
* Feel special bond with children and animals
* Strongly developed aesthetic appreciation for things
* Great people skills

ESFPs are good at many things, but will not be happy unless they have a lot of contact with people, and a lot of new experiences. They should choose careers which provide them with the opportunity to use their great people skills and practical perspective, which will also provide them with enough new challenges that they will not become bored.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an ESFP. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.

Possible Career Paths for the ESFP:

* Artists, Performers and Actors
* Sales Representatives
* Counselors / Social Work
* Child Care
* Fashion Designers
* Interior Decorators
* Consultants
* Photographers

ESFP Relationships


ESFPs are fun and delightful to be with. They live for the moment, and know how to make the most of each moment. They are genuinely, warmly interested in people, and love to make others happy. They're usually very kind-hearted and generous, and are always going out of their way to do something nice for someone. Their affection is simple, straight-forward and honest. They dislike theory and complexities. They often resist forming relationships which require them to function on a high Intuitive or Thinking level. They prefer for things to be light and happy, although their warmth and affection runs deep. Their potential downfall is the tendency to live entirely for the present moment, and therefore to sometimes be unaware of the direction that their relationship is heading, or to be easily distracted from long-term commitments.

ESFP Strengths

* Enthusiastic and fun-loving, they make everything enjoyable
* Clever, witty, direct, and popular, people are drawn towards them
* Earthy and sensual
* Down to earth and practical, able to take care of daily needs
* Artistic and creative, they're likely to have attractive homes
* Flexible and diverse, they "go with the flow" extremely well
* They can leave bad relationships, although it's not easy
* Try to make the most of every moment
* Generous and warm-hearted

ESFP Weaknesses

* May be frivolous and risky with money
* Tend to be materialistic
* Extreme dislike of criticism, likely to take things extremely personally
* Likely to ignore or escape conflict situations rather than face them
* Lifelong commitments may be a struggle for them - they take things one day at a time
* Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
* Tendency to neglect their health, or even abuse their bodies
* Always excited by something new, they may change partners frequently

ESFPs as Lovers

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

ESFPs embrace their love relationships in a Big way - similar to the way they approach their lives in general. They love to be in love, and will try to make the most of each moment. They take things on a day-by-day basis, and are uncomfortable thinking too much about the future, or making plans far in advance. For this reason, ESFPs are not natural long-term commitment people. They may feel tremendously committed on a day-by-day basis, but they do not naturally plan for their futures.

This commitment issue is a potential pitfall for the ESFP. Many people of this type overcome this potential weakness, and become involved in truly satisfying, lifelong relationships. Others do not address this weakness, and move from relationship to relationship without forming real commitments, convincing themselves that this is what they truly want.

Sexually, the ESFP is a very earthy and sensual individual who seeks and enjoys intimate contact with their partners. Living in the here-and-now, they throughly embrace and enjoy the experience with all five senses. They are generous and warm, and highly interested in making their partners happy.

ESFPs tend to be materialistic, and somewhat caught up in "what others think" of them. They should take care that this doesn't interfere with their personal relationships, since many of the others types will not be able to relate to their perspectives on these matters.

ESFPs do not handle conflict well at all. They take any sort of criticism very personally, and consider it to be a general indictment of their character. They may react with anger and harsh words which they would later like to take back. ESFPs would do themselves a favor if they would come to realize that criticism can be looked at constructively, rather than destructively. If they can hear criticism without feeling personally threatened, the ESFP will have come a very long way towards greatly improving the strength and health of their relationships.

ESFPs are extremely literal and concrete when communicating. They say things in a very direct, abrupt manner, and can sometimes even unintentionally seem quite harsh. They like things to be communicated to them in a similar, concrete fashion. They dislike theory and abstraction, and will frequently misunderstand the jist of a communication if it is not communicated in a factual, present-tense manner. Discussions regarding the future or the past are not the ESFP's strong suit, and in fact they're likely to miscontrue future-looking statements as something that needs immediate attention. When they discover that the discussion is not regarding an immediate concern, they become disinterested.

ESFPs are in general very warm and giving people, with simple needs and demands from their partners. They just want to be happy, and want to bring happiness to others. They are energetic and popular individuals who will liven up the social life of the couple, and keep many new experiences on the horizon.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ESFP's natural partner is the ISTJ, or the ISFJ. ESFP's dominant Extraverted Sensing function is best matched with a personality that is dominated by Introverted Sensing. How did we arrive at this?

ESFPs as Parents

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

The ESFP's "go with the flow", fun-loving attitude will extend to the raising of their children. They are warm and affectionate parents, and are great for giving practical care to their children. They like to do things in a Big way, and enjoy big families.

The ESFP will freely give love and affection to their children, but they frequently have a problem with defining a structured, orderly environment for them, and they may rely on their mates in this regard. Ultimately, the ESFP likely believes that too much structure is not a healthy thing for anyone, and so they're unlikely to enforce a highly structured or disciplined environment. If this trait is strongly present in the ESFP, and is not counteracted by their mate's perspective, it could be considered a potential pitfall for the ESFP parent. Children need some structure which can be depended upon as they grow up.

The ESFP is very practical and concrete in their daily needs, and are usually quite good at taking care of their children's daily needs. Although their approach to life is frequently "ad-lib", and their lives are almost always extremely full of exciting events, the ESFP is very good at juggling many things at once, which makes them especially good at handling the various issues which come up in a large family.

ESFPs tend to have difficulty with the authoritarian role, preferring to be their children's friend. However, they do expect to be given respect and to be obeyed when necessary, and will fall into the role of parental authoritarian at times. This can be frustrating for some children, especially those with strong Judging tendencies, as they will not know what to expect from their ESFP parent.

ESFPs are usually remembered fondly by their children for being fun-loving, upbeat, and affectionate, although somewhat scattered.

ESFPs as Friends

ESFPs are highly enthusiastic and effervescent. They are usually very popular, because people are naturally drawn towards them. They get such genuine delight and enjoyment from experiences which they encounter in life, and they love nothing better than to draw a crowd of people along with them for the sheer fun of it. ESFPs try to turn every day into a party, and they're usually successful at doing so.

ESFPs are highly valued for their ability to have a good time, and for their genuine warmth and interest towards people. They are extremely in tune with their five senses, and may be prone to overload them with too much alcohol, food, or drugs. They get along with all sorts of people, although they're not interested in spending time with people who they find boring, or who expect the ESFP to communicate with them on an Intuitive or Thinking level. Some people may disapprove of the ESFP's fun-oriented lifestyle. Others may be put off by their very stright-forward and blunt speaking style. The ESFP is likely to especially enjoy spending time with other Extraverts who have the Feeling preference, although they may have a special place in their hearts for people of any preference.


The thing I dont agree with is, I dont need a big crowd around me. I mostly enjoy just doing things with one other person or a group of close friends. Also I love having talks about theories and getting in 'battle of wits' with people. Thats how I dont find myself alike in this profile. but the spots that I highlighted I highly agree with.

Crap to be orgainized later but didnt want to lose it!

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