Family Rant
Okay well I havent gotten too much into my family on here yet. But nows about the time for me to do so, since I got a letter from my Oldest brother Chris and it bothers me. I dont really know if I wish to write him back or not. But I do know I want to vent about it. So im going to RETYPE the letter on here word for word, and then im going to rant. Later I will deside if I care to send him my thoughts. For now this will do.
Stefanie,
I wanted to apologize for not getting this card out to you sooner, I was out of state on business, and it slipped my mind until I got back, im sorry. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I always said that you had the coolest birthday, you probably don't realize it now, but wait until you get old enough to enjoy the bars~~green beer is the way to go! I hope your day was great, regardless.
The late care was completely unintentional, but since it didnt get out in time, I wanted to take an opportunity to talk about some things.
It doesnt feel that great when your family and loved ones forget about special days does it? Especially when you dont have too many loved ones out there, we tend to exspect that the few we have will not forget by any means. Unfortunately no one is perfect, and we all tend to get spacey sometimes. but this should not be an excuse, we love to get recognition and love that we deserve from our family and friends, regardless of how spacey they might be. When was the last time you called Reilly or Dylan (your niece, nephew) on thier birthdays or any holidays? How about mine or Angies? My daughter doesnt even know who you are and shes is 2 years old. This is exactly why I have argued with mom recently in the last few years because she is notorious for this. I wanted to open your eyes for a moment.
I speak to mom, not very frequently anymore, but when I do I always ask how you are doing. she never fails to tell me that you are sad and depressed that no one ever calls you, visits you~ your brothers and dad especially. Noe I cant account for anyone else but me, b ut I have tried to get in touch with you. I have called and left messages for you to call me back~~ but you never have. How do you think that makes me feel? It works both ways in the real world sister. When I try repeatedly to chit chat with you, and you dont respond that tells me that you couldnt care less to speack to me, or disregard my efforts. Why on earth should I then continue to try? Just to say that I did? If you dont reciprocate everyone in your life will disappear sooner or later. Good luck trying to find a man in your life if this is the way you treat relationships!
I care about you because you are my one "real" sibling. I feel that I still ahve to look out for you even though you are an "old bag" already. I am disappointed though, on where you are heading in life. Are you going to school? are you goetting a decent fulltime job? are you going to make some money so you can move out of that house and get your own place with your own stuff? Or are you going to continue doing what you are doing~~ heading downward without any soft of mission and purpose in life? Everything that you have in your life and everything that you have not accoplished , the person that you are today is a result of you. Not anyone else. You cannot blame mom, your dad, your brothers, KC, your boss on what has happend to you. Blame yourself. Stop deeling so sad and guilty and pointing the finger. Start doing something for yourself. This is why I moved out of state at 17. I havent looked back since, and look where i am today. I am a doctor with 2 kids and a wife that loves me. And a magnificent future ahead. WOW everyone and enyone that succeeeds in life has a purpose. People who fail donot. Have you ever thought of that?
Now I didnt mean to make you feel bad with this letter but I feel that someone needs to wake you up from this fantasy world you are living in. You dont have a father so I know he isnt going to do it. Mom has troubles of her own and she isnt either. So I guess its up to me.
It is time to igure out where you want to go in life, take some accountability for your own actions, wipe the whoa is me off your shoulder and charge ahead. You are 20 yrs old for gods Sake! It aint easy either so dont think it is. If you want exspect others to guide you, understand you, love you, cry with you, you need to be there for them also . Think about that . My family would love to hear from you whenever you decide to call.
Dr Chris
Okay well hmm so many thing I want to say about this but right now I cant fully think. Im just going to go off my gut feelings on this one.
Chris,
You are my brother so im not using the Dr tittle for you. I respect that you have the little paper and paid for all the classes to get that tittle. But this is a sister to brother letter.
1st off I do want to say Thank you for the card. Even though it was late its still nice. But brother dear do you forget your own past when you get into accuseing me of things? Do you forget what it was like at my age? You are 30 and I am 20. Take a step back and look at your life. Lets go on a walk down Chris's life shall we?
You got out of Highschoold and ran, fled and hid in the army because you didnt want to deal with 'the real world' You wanted someone else to tell you how and when to do everything, you wanted to be a puppet so you didnt have to think about anything. Also you left at 18 not 17. I was 8 when you left. You left me with a mother who couldnt stand up for herself let alone her kids, and your little sister. You left us with an asshole of a man who I refuse to call Dad. I dont blame you for leaving. I guess I would have too. But dont put yourself up on a high and mighty shelf saying I dont live in the real world because of it. I had to deal with his shit, and belive me dear brother it only got worse. You say I dont think about others. I do everything that I can for mom and I take the shit that she also dishes out so well. I dont blame KC for anything but being a dumb ass. I blame dad, and mom for many of the issues I have with things, but I dont hide from anything because of that. DONT you ever tell me how I am with relationships. I do not push away the people that know me the best. You are 10 yrs older then me and the last time you really hung out with me I was 11. You missed my highschool, you missed me growing up. Dont tell me I dont live in the realworld. I have a job, I pay my own bills, I take care of myself. I dont allow mommy to pay for anything unlike you, Run off get married have a kid that you cant affored and mommey comes to the rescue. Your car breaks mommy fixes it. She makes it all better. Well brother while she was making things all better for you I was the one hugging her and holding her hand, Shieldng the blows that she was having from life. No one was the shield for mine. I stood alone. You think you know me so well, and you know about my life. You know very little about y our baby sister.
As for the kids. I am sorry that I dont get to see them, that i have yet to meet my niece. But I dont get off work in time for call them. I dont wake up in time either. I dont really have days off. Remember you are 3 hours different then I am. I would love to see them, visit with them, be an aunt to them. But Im 20. not 30. I cant just say "Oh let me fly to mich and take my family out" Im sorry about missing angies and your bdays. Bad and shame on me. I deserve that slap. But as for the rest of your letter. Dont be my fucking father. Dont try to guide me, because I dont want it. If I need your advice I will ask for it. You have a stick shoved up your ass that says Im a DR so I know everything about everyone. You dont know the 1st thing about me Chris. Best way to talk to me in email me. I reply to those. I think about you and your family and I know I cant call in the middle of the night. You want to be there for me? Become my friend again 1st not just my brother. I love you and I love your family. But we are worlds apart when it comes to many things. You wish to know and understand me, it takes more then phone calls.
Your Sister
Stef
~I know there is so much more I want to say but right now I cant think of it all. I'll come back to it.
Stefanie,
I wanted to apologize for not getting this card out to you sooner, I was out of state on business, and it slipped my mind until I got back, im sorry. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I always said that you had the coolest birthday, you probably don't realize it now, but wait until you get old enough to enjoy the bars~~green beer is the way to go! I hope your day was great, regardless.
The late care was completely unintentional, but since it didnt get out in time, I wanted to take an opportunity to talk about some things.
It doesnt feel that great when your family and loved ones forget about special days does it? Especially when you dont have too many loved ones out there, we tend to exspect that the few we have will not forget by any means. Unfortunately no one is perfect, and we all tend to get spacey sometimes. but this should not be an excuse, we love to get recognition and love that we deserve from our family and friends, regardless of how spacey they might be. When was the last time you called Reilly or Dylan (your niece, nephew) on thier birthdays or any holidays? How about mine or Angies? My daughter doesnt even know who you are and shes is 2 years old. This is exactly why I have argued with mom recently in the last few years because she is notorious for this. I wanted to open your eyes for a moment.
I speak to mom, not very frequently anymore, but when I do I always ask how you are doing. she never fails to tell me that you are sad and depressed that no one ever calls you, visits you~ your brothers and dad especially. Noe I cant account for anyone else but me, b ut I have tried to get in touch with you. I have called and left messages for you to call me back~~ but you never have. How do you think that makes me feel? It works both ways in the real world sister. When I try repeatedly to chit chat with you, and you dont respond that tells me that you couldnt care less to speack to me, or disregard my efforts. Why on earth should I then continue to try? Just to say that I did? If you dont reciprocate everyone in your life will disappear sooner or later. Good luck trying to find a man in your life if this is the way you treat relationships!
I care about you because you are my one "real" sibling. I feel that I still ahve to look out for you even though you are an "old bag" already. I am disappointed though, on where you are heading in life. Are you going to school? are you goetting a decent fulltime job? are you going to make some money so you can move out of that house and get your own place with your own stuff? Or are you going to continue doing what you are doing~~ heading downward without any soft of mission and purpose in life? Everything that you have in your life and everything that you have not accoplished , the person that you are today is a result of you. Not anyone else. You cannot blame mom, your dad, your brothers, KC, your boss on what has happend to you. Blame yourself. Stop deeling so sad and guilty and pointing the finger. Start doing something for yourself. This is why I moved out of state at 17. I havent looked back since, and look where i am today. I am a doctor with 2 kids and a wife that loves me. And a magnificent future ahead. WOW everyone and enyone that succeeeds in life has a purpose. People who fail donot. Have you ever thought of that?
Now I didnt mean to make you feel bad with this letter but I feel that someone needs to wake you up from this fantasy world you are living in. You dont have a father so I know he isnt going to do it. Mom has troubles of her own and she isnt either. So I guess its up to me.
It is time to igure out where you want to go in life, take some accountability for your own actions, wipe the whoa is me off your shoulder and charge ahead. You are 20 yrs old for gods Sake! It aint easy either so dont think it is. If you want exspect others to guide you, understand you, love you, cry with you, you need to be there for them also . Think about that . My family would love to hear from you whenever you decide to call.
Dr Chris
Okay well hmm so many thing I want to say about this but right now I cant fully think. Im just going to go off my gut feelings on this one.
Chris,
You are my brother so im not using the Dr tittle for you. I respect that you have the little paper and paid for all the classes to get that tittle. But this is a sister to brother letter.
1st off I do want to say Thank you for the card. Even though it was late its still nice. But brother dear do you forget your own past when you get into accuseing me of things? Do you forget what it was like at my age? You are 30 and I am 20. Take a step back and look at your life. Lets go on a walk down Chris's life shall we?
You got out of Highschoold and ran, fled and hid in the army because you didnt want to deal with 'the real world' You wanted someone else to tell you how and when to do everything, you wanted to be a puppet so you didnt have to think about anything. Also you left at 18 not 17. I was 8 when you left. You left me with a mother who couldnt stand up for herself let alone her kids, and your little sister. You left us with an asshole of a man who I refuse to call Dad. I dont blame you for leaving. I guess I would have too. But dont put yourself up on a high and mighty shelf saying I dont live in the real world because of it. I had to deal with his shit, and belive me dear brother it only got worse. You say I dont think about others. I do everything that I can for mom and I take the shit that she also dishes out so well. I dont blame KC for anything but being a dumb ass. I blame dad, and mom for many of the issues I have with things, but I dont hide from anything because of that. DONT you ever tell me how I am with relationships. I do not push away the people that know me the best. You are 10 yrs older then me and the last time you really hung out with me I was 11. You missed my highschool, you missed me growing up. Dont tell me I dont live in the realworld. I have a job, I pay my own bills, I take care of myself. I dont allow mommy to pay for anything unlike you, Run off get married have a kid that you cant affored and mommey comes to the rescue. Your car breaks mommy fixes it. She makes it all better. Well brother while she was making things all better for you I was the one hugging her and holding her hand, Shieldng the blows that she was having from life. No one was the shield for mine. I stood alone. You think you know me so well, and you know about my life. You know very little about y our baby sister.
As for the kids. I am sorry that I dont get to see them, that i have yet to meet my niece. But I dont get off work in time for call them. I dont wake up in time either. I dont really have days off. Remember you are 3 hours different then I am. I would love to see them, visit with them, be an aunt to them. But Im 20. not 30. I cant just say "Oh let me fly to mich and take my family out" Im sorry about missing angies and your bdays. Bad and shame on me. I deserve that slap. But as for the rest of your letter. Dont be my fucking father. Dont try to guide me, because I dont want it. If I need your advice I will ask for it. You have a stick shoved up your ass that says Im a DR so I know everything about everyone. You dont know the 1st thing about me Chris. Best way to talk to me in email me. I reply to those. I think about you and your family and I know I cant call in the middle of the night. You want to be there for me? Become my friend again 1st not just my brother. I love you and I love your family. But we are worlds apart when it comes to many things. You wish to know and understand me, it takes more then phone calls.
Your Sister
Stef
~I know there is so much more I want to say but right now I cant think of it all. I'll come back to it.
posted by S. at 11:52 PM
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